Forgive

I believe I have done it. I have forgiven! I know that sounds interesting, I sent the email, you know that one that is saying lets move on, lets forget about the hurt and become more. I feel like that was the last step to my process. It has clearly been on my mind for months, no one pushed me toward it no one told me it would be the right thing to do. Well I wouldn't say that no one told me it was the right thing to do, the spirit prompted me often, god encouraged me and helped me swallow my pride. 

I feel better, lighter, I feel more peace about the situation than ever before. It was my choice to forgive and hopefully I will to be forgiven but if not that is the choice I can not make for someone else. It is a wonderful feeling, it puts a deep amount of love in my heart for her and her family. I have not received a response and I know that I might not receive one and that I may not like the one that I receive if I do. That changes nothing, She has her right to wait and work through her trials the same way I have mine for her it will also never be too late! It truly was not too late for me to forgive!

Its Never too Late to... Strengthen your Faith

Most people strengthen their faith little by little, crumb by crumb, pebble by pebble or brick by brick type of thing. One day we will have pure full faith and have a whole bakery, a mountain or a mansion that those little bits of faith have built. Every now and then the lord blesses us so much and gives us a whole loaf of bread or a cake ( I like Cake), a few boulders or a load of bricks in the form of trials. Sometimes it is death, sometimes sickness, it really could be a whole number of things ... anyway he blesses us with a trial for me it was something so unexpected but so needed. My first reaction was pure fear. BUT one of the one things I remember best from EFY is that FEAR is the opposite of FAITH. The lord new this is a lesson I would need and that is why this concept has stayed with me for years.
I am so grateful that the lord in his perfect love for me and my family and for each one of us prescribes trials that help us grow in faith. I am so glad that it is NEVER TOO LATE to Strengthen ones faith and to get a boost in the path of righteousness. I will take this lesson and continue to study, pray and serve in order for my faith to be strengthened and I will look forward to the trying times the lord will give me to strengthen my faith even more. I am so grateful for my knowledge of the true gospel of Jesus Christ. That he is mindful of me and cares for me and my family. I am grateful for family and loving friends whom are there to support me in my time of need. I love the Savior Jesus Christ who died for my sins.
In his name I Testify
Amen

Forgive

and Oh Wow this is still so hard for me, it is going to be a process, it is slowly letting go of the ways I have been hurt. It is making sure that I don't continue to hold on to the past... eventually it will probably mean making the phone call, talking it out and moving forward. It is a lot of things and I think about it often but I am not humble enough yet I guess to give in and call I still feel like I shouldn't have to that it is not part of the forgiveness. BUT it is part of the moving on and I will continue to find reasons to be upset until I do so.... Keep praying for the courage and straightening, humbling myself until the time I am ready!

It's NEVER too late to.... Forgive

Agh, This is a toughy but I thought it is time. I have some forgiving that needs done, I have some people in my life that I need to forgive in order for my family, myself and many people around me are able to move on a grow. I am having a tough time finding the humility to do this but I am working on it. Some people make it really hard to forgive. The person I am thinking of has hurt me, she has gossiped, lied and lost all of my trust and to ask me to just forgive her and move on is a really tough project for me. It seems especially tough because I have also said things, done things that have not been perfect and kind to her, when I got hurt by her I in turn said hurtful things and I should have been more mature and more loving than that. My grudge against her has become to effect others and that is not fair.
So anyway, this will be a process, a challenge and a true growing experience for me, it will take much humility on my part and also I have to remember that she does not have to change in order for me to forgive her and she does not have to ask for it I just have to do it. NOT EASY but I do know it will be worth it!
" Of you it is required to forgive all men." D&C 64:10
" Forgiveness frees the soul. give people a chance to start over, even if they haven't asked for it. You will be surprised at how good it feels to be free of the burden of a grudge."

KJ

To Stop Worrying

To some it may seem a bit trivial that I have worried at all, I may be dramatic and I may be over thinking this completely but today I have peace. I have stopped worrying and I feel better. This little man growing inside of me has given me a run for my money so far, along with bed rest for 3 weeks, I have been to the hospital twice and then there is that nagging worry that there could be something wrong with my little man, not that I can't handle it if there is, we done that before and survived but having a healthy baby is such a relief!!! :) I also have of course had the fear of delivering on the road and not that it was such a terrible experience I just really would prefer to be at the hospital when this boy gets here. Just in case.
I want to share a personal experience that I had yesterday. It was so sweet to me and may mean nothing to anyone else but the lord new I needed comfort. I dozed off for a short nap yesterday in that time I had a dream or an image that came to my mind of my sweet grandmother holding a little boy, I can't tell you what that boy looked like for sure but I know that he was my boy. He was out little Ace. It was beautiful they were both happy, healthy and looked amazing. It was then that I realized once again how grateful I am for eternal families, that I know that my grandmother is loving on my little man right now, enjoying him for a few more days/weeks until he arrives and not only her but other family that has passed on before or that is also waiting their turn to come and receive a body. It was at that point I decided I need not to worry. This baby will arrive, he will be wonderful and all will be well or we will deal with anything that comes our way. It was a sweet, tearful and comforting moment for me when I decided I could wait and share him with those loved ones for a little longer and I stopped worrying. These are pictures of Tay and Grandma Ward
KJ

" Look unto me in every thought, doubt not, fear not." D&C 6:36
From the book
" The phrase " fear not " is in the form of a command in the scriptures, not a mere suggestion."

It's Never to late to.... Mourn with a Friend

I have debated on if this was the right place to start. It hit me early on as I looked through this book that I would have that opportunity if I hadn't already, it came a lot earlier than I expected and it was considerably harder than I would have thought. The book says this

" Put your arm around the sad. Visit the sick. Be the one who does something in a time of tragedy for others. Even if you are unsure that you can really help, make the effort anyway."

A few weeks ago Josh's grandmother past away, she is a wonderful woman that was always loving and kind. She treated me like family from the moment that I walked into her home for my first Hone family spaghetti dinner. All the Hone family has been nothing but loving and supportive of me from the moment that I entered their lives, I am so blessed to have married into this family. I didn't get to attend the funeral and I was devastated, I stayed home with the kids and cried and at times was angry but after Josh got home and was able to share with me the wonderful occasion that it was, we mourned together, Josh doesn't cry often, he doesn't say a lot about his feelings but I could feel his love for his family, what they mean to him and the influence that his Grandmother had on his live. It was special to see the way he mourned her death, in such a positive eternal aspect, I can not say when my Grandmother passed away that I was as graceful, I cried a lot, couldn't hardly speak at times and still I have a hard time speaking of her without having tears in my eyes, I miss her so dearly.
I was touched and inspired to be the type of person that this passage suggests. I want to move forward being a friend, just being there when people need love, support or just someone to sit next to them and listen.
Neal A Maxwell says this
" We poorly serve the cause of the lord, at times, with programmatic superficiality and by our lack of empathy for those who drift in despair."
The world is plagued with despair these day I want to be a person who has empathy and serves the way the Lord would want me to.

My Challenge

Welcome to my challenge blog. I was so inspired by just the title of this book. It's Never too late by Britney Rule. I picked it up at the LDS bookstore while I was there looking for something else.
I feel like I have missed a few opportunities in my life, let things slide or just go past and never taken the time to really do what I want to do at times. Its never too late! In reality its is too late for some things but I think it is never too late for most things or to make sure someone else doesn't miss those same opportunities. No I can't be a better student in High School it is too late for that but it isn't too late to be a good college student or to teach my children the importance of education. I can't go back and sit in the grass with my Grandma more often it is too late for that but it isn't too late to create those memories with my kids or take my kids to her house and sit in the grass and tell them about her. I can let them make those memories with their grandparents so that they never have to regret or I can hope that they don't have to.
So I am going to travel through this book and change simple things in my life and make it better, I will probably add a few of my own its never too late and Hope that if you have good ones to share you will feel free. You can comment here or email me at Karajomartin@gmail.com
I don't have a ton of regrets in my life but I am trying to take control and not have anymore. Its never too late to get more out of life and that is just what I plan on doing! Join me! We can have more in life together!
I plan to be honest and straight forward in this blog tell my true feelings journal about my experience in the most honest way I can. I hope anyone who CHOOSES to read this understands that my heart is in the best of places and that I am seeking only good things from this experience.
Much Love
XOXO
KJ